Safe in the wings of the Owl

Enchanting... the sound of the silence. I hear only Sam's sweet soft breath as he naps beside me. I wish I could sleep like that. But, growing up in the village one knew always to sleep with one eye open and always be listening...and ready.

My Sam, how innocent he looks lying there among the colorful bedding.

 Tonight he has shown me he is not so innocent..."we" are not so innocent anymore...Our longing for each other was so beautiful..for what felt like hours we explored each others bodies and found a comfortable longing, at moments we were childlike giggling our way along... but comfortable with our nakedness,  moments later we were like animals ..crazily on each other..him thrusting inside me..at first the discomfort was minimal but, his sweet words brought me to my first orgasm...ohhh how I long to do that again and think I should wake him soon... anyway..our time might be very short...I guess that's why we were so dynamic tonight...our love might be just for tonight only...we knew that..together we left nothing our young minds could want unexplored.

looking over to you... I play with your soft curl laying on the pillow...I can see you are aroused even as you sleep and so I touch the soft blanket covering you there and your soft eyes open..a smile..you quickly pull me under the covers and we lay there looking at each other... the soft light and warmth is inviting..your hand on my shoulder, my arm, my hip...I feel that now familiar stir inside myself..I push toward you... and we are one once more...you and I cry a little this time. I feel are time ending and the fear creeps in...but not fully yet.

I whisper to you all my dreams and you to me yours..we giggle.. share and cry together under that blanket...how I wish I had a book to read each other now too...time always has been my enemy.

I still believe in the magic and in hope tho and tell Sam I do that maybe it isn't as bad as we think. Sue is sure to find out.

He closes his eyes and I heard it again looking from under the blanket..i think I hear it..I do! it is the sound of the Owl he is cooing nearby soft comforting sound amlost musical... not the alarming noise he was warning me of earlier. I smiled and looked back to Sam lying their and I swear as he opened his eyes they were not the soft brown eyes that make me smile but the glowing eyes of that very owl...I hold him close and he holds me too...softly I start kissing his face neck and shoulder...his soft sounds make me know his eyes are brown again and the magic is gone..I asked him what happened and he said he "felt the owl" and could understand that there is no more alarm.

I thought we better get dressed, it was getting late and Sue was going to suspect enough...our passion was not thru tho..I got only my shirt and socks on when you put your hands on my hips and pushed your hardness on my butt..I giggle and squirm. but not to much...soon you are inside me  and I find it ohh so pleasurable... you feel so deep It almost scares me but you are slow and steady...I feel that pressure wanting to squeeze out of me again and you must feel it too because you move stronger and soon we are both reaching climax together and failing half dressed upon the bed once more  the giggles take hold and we are happy forever in this moment! handing Sam his pants I see a familiar pattern emerge from his pocket...it is the strip of dress and hair ribbon I used to dress his wound. cleaned and saved...I gently pushed it back In the pocket and smiling handed them to Sam...my Sam.

We sat talking about what we will do this summer if everything is OK and soon enough we heard Sue enter the room.

My heart was pounding. I can hear her moving the dresser aside..we nervously looked at one another.
The door opened..the light poured in to the tiny room and Sue quickly let me know that no I wasn't going to be leaving...Sigh...how relieved I was...for now anyway. Sue stammered on about giving us a minute as we put our shoes on, but quickly came back. Putting her hands to my cheeks she laughed! I knew she knew and it made me really blush and smile. with promises that she will keep our "secret" she sent Sam quickly home so he would be up for morning bell.

Sue teased me a bit... but before sending me to my room she talked to me about being careful and babies and all that stuff...I grabbed my duffel hugged her hard and with grateful tears ran toward my room .

I took a long bath and felt the glow of our love all around me...singing the soft tune I heard in the flapping of the wings... I crawled into bed and slept soundly:)

I dreamt of our summer adventures yet to come...........safe in the wings of the owl.

Sam stands on the threshold of death...he sees his loved ones, but , he chooses me....although I don't know that yet... it is what I see as I lay with him comfortably and naturally upon Susan's pillows. The cubby is small and smells of smoke and remnants of weed and candles, it is cozy, safe and I have to trust Sue will return with the answers to my fears....remembering this could be the last time I am with him.
Sam looks at me and we quietly went about fixing the blanket in a proper manner...laying together we look into each others eyes, touching hands I try to tell him I am sorry...he quiets me and pulls me close, his hand wiping my tear...I sigh into his arms and explain to him how the evil of this world, the darkness sometimes overpowers even the greatest of things...and that it could one day take me from him, I don't want this of course I just know it had to be told. And you Sam are a pure and gentle soul--a knight serving your princess....what more could I say to bring comfort to us both...I swear I hear once more the sound of wind and wings...Sam pulls me to him and reassures me he is with me always. Even if we must part he is now part of me and I him...his touch upon my face is like electricity..it makes my heart race...Dare I want more. Dare I open myself to him.
Feeling his face so close to my own, his breath like elixir I must sample..I kiss his mouth as we did that first time in the orchard...
deep, loving and sweet he greets me with his own. I feel the heat from our body's and with freedom to explore I pull him against me feeling my hips against his. my breast pushing against his chest bare of it's armour  free of all sin we smile knowing what is about to happen.
In each others embrace, understanding the pulse of our desire we take off our clothes and lay close feeling the heat and begin our exploration...young and ready, our desire and the knowledge that  it might be the only time,  we are carefree. Brushing the hair from my face Sam takes my face in his hands he touches me so lovingly I cry once more...I take Sam's face in my own hands and we kiss  I choke back a sob. I have long dreamed of this very moment...many times when I was a child would I dream of this, my prince taking my face in his hands loving me, seeing me for who I am and loving me so...and here I was now and it was real and it was him. I was overjoyed and let the power of the moment wash away all the fear of earlier, giving myself fully to Sam.
I never have known the love of a man  and Sam was young but he was a man after all and I was learning with him what that meant.
I was shaking as he pushed his hips against mine...he was so sweet whispering how precious I was to him, I heard his voice shaking a little and we smiled together.
Natural and lovingly we fell into an embrace of passion... never having doubt, with this long awaited desire for true love, unconditional love... we kissed excitedly and I touched his arms and chest his hips he pushed gently against me once again, I laid over on my back and lifted my head to the pillow. I reached for his kiss eagerly and he laughed with excitement as we fell together young, in love and forgetting the past, taking each other as so many children have before them. Sam's touch was like lightening he was touching my young nipples and pinching them so tenderly ...I could see he wanted to kiss them and brought them to his mouth...Ohhh he sighed....I giggled and relaxed in his embrace as Sam my Sam explored my breast and hips and now my womanhood waiting his touch...come my Sam lets be free together tonight as only we can.....and I swear I heard distant music as we began our night as lovers.

I must trust someone...Sue

I heard it the first time as I got to my room, the sound of large wings against the window? ...moving quickly I grabbed my duffel and filled it with what I thought I might need most..having been on the street before I understood what might be before me, but, anything was better then her.
I sat weeping thinking of how I must have hurt Sam leaving him standing alone at the reception...above all I dont want to hurt him or interfear with the sweet vunerable young man he is...yet so believing in goodness even in his own parents.
 Across my room I looked sadly the owl collection I knew I would have to leave behind...
as I looked up Sue entered my room...Sue in all her glory, a lifer here she had a confidence about her that was contagious, I liked her the minute I met her. she was always kind to me and had introduced me to some wicked fun the years we had spent together here as fellow girls in the "homes". Above all I trusted her.
Behind her came Sammy my Sammy. She snuck him in and here he was looking at me with those big brown eyes and that soft curl of hair. I didnt see anger or fear but something other worldly like he was looking at me with the owls eyes....and love. I wanted to embrace him and never let go.
Sue broke the moment with her words. "Hey, girl! Where do you think you're going?"
Sue startled me and I was beginning to object her request to go to her room, knowing I must go quickly before they come for me. But the sound again against the window got my attention long enough for her to lead me towards her room, Sam taking my bag we left with the sound of wings leading the way...
everything seemed to move quickly and Sue had Sam go into the cubby in her room with some blankets and pillows as it might be a long night ...told him to wait for me and I saw the sadness as I left to talk to Sue alone. As I have said I trusted her, Sue and I went down the hall and talked for some time ...I told her the truth knowing she had already heard my bad dreams from down the hall more then once and having seen the injuries I came here with. Sue knew I must be protected.
I also confessed my love of Sam to her and my worry that he would be hurt. She teased me about the "love nest" he was making as we spoke...But understood my fear and promised to help.
As I went back to her room I hugged her dearly and thanked her for her help...Sam opened the door and in I went
...Sue told him she would make her brother cover for him at the boys dorm and with a promise to be careful and a smile that made me blush, she shut the door and was gone...into the night Sam and I went together.

Magic and hope

The Spring Reception, I didn't want to go. but we have to show our faces. Across the room I saw several visiting parents, my own sponsor is present tonight, a good man who has several children he sponsors here at the academy. Some of the old people are sitting laughing at something someone said. Festive and full of light.
But not for me... I have been afraid since last meeting with Sam. I feel fear as real as I feel Sam's hand holding my own...we look across the room and see everyone in their fine clothes...I wished to be invisible tonight and reassured Sam we are.
The room looks like a palace it is so full of light. I see the owl from here, is it trying to tell me something? I look in the direction I see the owl is looking and my heart drops. I hear only my breathing and my heart pounding, I know he is talking to me wanting me to be with him, now, here at this grand place...but the old fear is here..and no doubt it is real. The owl warned me. I see her across the room. Scared now, already having checked my exits I kiss my Sammy's forehead, I love his hair a little. I can not look into his eyes and slip out. I feel awful leaving Sam without word. but I run, run hard and hope she didn't see me. Hope my magic worked keeping us invisible long enough...why cant she just forget me. I can not go back to her, I can not leave now, not now. How will I live without Sam's protection..I run home....my heart racing ...tears staining my face.
Up the steps I quickly grab my bag...think Colleen think..where to go? I hold my head in my hands sobbing quietly thinking back to the times before I came here to this safe place, this place of magic and hope.

The guardian

Time we didn't always have much of, even though the summer was in full swing now.. ( boys and girls were often kept apart, even siblings didn't see each other for days or even weeks) Sam and I made time. Today I was running late. I ran out the door and forgot my bag. I ran back for it.  Mrs D. caught me and bothered me with a conversation having seen the book I was throwing in my bag. Sigh.  It was Birds and Mythology, it has an interesting story I want to share with Sammy about owl's.
finally on the road I run fast my bag bouncing off my hip. I fly to wear I know he is waiting. I don't like waiting for people. It always makes me think they really are just not comming. I trust no one so I have no one to dissapoint me. Sammy, my Sammy is different and I don't like leaving him waiting on me.....
As I near where we are to meet I hear his soft cry...he has hurt himself, looks like he fell on a soft apple and blood was comming from his thigh.
 I wiped his tears, took him to a nearby bench to mend his wound. As I tore at his already patched jeans I told him the story I read about the Lenape Indians believing that if they dreamt of an Owl it would become their guardian. He liked that and I saw his sadness turn around, with a sniff and a push at his glasses he looked like my happy Sam once more. I liked caring for his wound it made me feel closer still to him.
Tearing a small peice from my old summer dress I pressed it to his wound. I could see it was a good break in his skin but had stopped bleeding.Then tied it with my hair ribbon to hold the bandage in place. Sammy do you think if we thought about it enough and wished it enough we can both dream of an Owl...I feel I need the protection...please Sammy please. Sometimes I wish to be an Owl and fly far away where she would never find me. I would live in the night like the Owl and remain invisible to her always. Sam and I we were going to do that tonight...sleep looking for theOwl. We both needed it's promise. And soon, I could just feel it. Sams eyes knew it too. Ands so our promise was made.

the cattle are mooing the baby awakes

Birthdays have always been nothing special..
I don't remember any before I came to Donegal Academy. Seeing that very date was when the statue of the reading owl was donated, well somehow made me feel connected and a little special. Sammy teased me but knew it was my B'day. He is so cute, looking serious, with his glasses falling off his nose. I push them back for him and mess his hair a little... I love his soft hair.
Sammy led off to a special place he shared now with me..the lovely smells that come from this old place is warm and comforting, musky old paper...I like this place and it's old chairs...I wonder how many other children made dreams right here in this old oak chair.
 Sam busy reading for clues I look out the window off towards my favorite spot next to the cows, When I first came to the Academy I hid from the others not knowing if they were safe. The apple orchard and farm were my companions...that is until Sam stepped on that stick.
 Sam was busy readin the Daily Register of 1831.
I hope he never saw my tears fall, they always make him so concerned. These were happy tears from watching the light in Sam's eyes as he read and discovered. "did you find anything Sammy" I seemed to startle him.
Swabian Christian Rosenkreutz he said, jumping up he quickly grabbed another book from his well known shelves...Swabian Christian Rosenkreutz master alchemyst of the 15th century. It doesnt make sense, how could he have made the owl and dedicated it May 28th, 1831, yet been a 15th century alchemyst? I could see the frustration in Sam's eyes. I gave him a big hug to let him know it's ok. we will figure it our together...then that darn bell rang for dinner..he to the boys dorm, I to the girls, it was the end of a adventurous day.

the magic of friendship

late at night I lay listening to the sounds of the night, I keep thinking of all the love I want to have for Sammy my comrad.
 Since meeting that beautiful day in the orchard I want to be near him. I fear always it ending but push that away to remember us playing in the tunnels just yesterday...hiding from each other, we dont seem to hide well, somehow I seem to "feel" him near and find him quickly how ever hard he tries. He just laughs and runs further into the tunnel system...knowing them well he traverses them until we exit nearest the forest, and fall into the green grass out of breath. laying in the sun, holding hands... we nap. What could be better.
I watch as the evening leaves and morning sun comes. The bell goes off and I rise to take the day.

Today I go to find him, he is stairing at the Owl, the one with the book on the main staircase at the Great Hall of Donegal Academy.
 There is Sam with his head tilted questioningly looking at the owl. I see him touch the book, the one the owl holds...I have often touched that very same thing. Wondering why this book?
 I love sneaking up on him and stealing a kiss...my cold lips found the mark on his cheek and Sam jumped ...it makes me laugh to see him so curious and at the same time jump from my cream soda kiss. ( I wanted to warm my lips on his own but thought better of it standing before the staircase)
He wants, no needs to know the story behind theis carving. Seeing a clue I am always ready for adventure. I follow Sam taking his hand, towards the library, dancing along the way...we will find the story behind this owl carving and the book we can not read, yet can not resist...